A sad story

Bob was riding his tiny, yellow roller skates when he tripped on a branch and fell in a RIVER!  Bob swam for his life and almost drowned! He was sent to hospital.  Bob’s best friend Oscar saw Bob die. Oscar burst into tears, Bob was gone.  His grave, was made in the shape of a roller skate.  Oscar was so sad he didn’t even go to school.  Every minute he burst into tears – Bob DIED.  Oscar thought he wanted to die too.  Then he fell off the couch and broke his hand.  He was happy that he couldn’t write for a while…

2 thoughts on “A sad story”

  1. I like the storyline but I do not think that you followed the rules correctly because it says that no burials are allowed so I am afraid that you did not follow the instructions. One thing that I loved was the detail espesoly when you said ´´Bod was riding his tiny, yellow roller skates when hi tripped over a branch´´ I think that the first word of your sentences mostly all start with Bod. but other whys you did a amazing job.

    Elena

  2. Hey Oscar 😀

    I liked your story and I like the details and stuff, I did feel that everything escalated a little fast and it felt that you were just stating what happened rather than letting all the scenes flow into each other to make the transitions between what happened smooth and clean. But other than that it was good!
    R.I.P Bob 2022
    ~Addison

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