I am Doomed

One  day  I   heard  this   cool   sound   and  I   followed   it  and   then  I   fell   in   this  diamond   cave  and   I  just  had  to  find  that  gem   before   Blood    Worm  does   or  I  am   doomed   for  ever  and  then  he  will  be  my  dad.   So  I  started  to  walk  deeper  into  the  cave.  I   saw  spiders  then I  saw  blood  on  the  floor.   I  pressed  this  button  and    then  blades  came   stabbing  me.  So  I  ran   but  I  had  to  see   what    was   in  the  chest  and  then  I  did  and  Blood  Worm   was  gone forever  and  me  and  my  family  were safe  forever. I  hope…

One thought on “I am Doomed”

  1. Congratulations on your response to this week’s challenge. I liked the phrases you wrote to convey tension eg ‘I just had to..’ and ‘.. or I am doomed’. I know that run on sentences can also be used to build tension, and give the impression of time racing by, but too many conjunctions in one sentence can be confusing for a reader. A good strategy is to read your writing aloud so you can hear where punctuation marks should go. I really hope that you and your family are safe from Blood Worm. 😁

Comments are closed.