One day I heard this cool sound and I followed it and then I fell in this diamond cave and I just had to find that gem before Blood Worm does or I am doomed for ever and then he will be my dad. So I started to walk deeper into the cave. I saw spiders then I saw blood on the floor. I pressed this button and then blades came stabbing me. So I ran but I had to see what was in the chest and then I did and Blood Worm was gone forever and me and my family were safe forever. I hope…
Congratulations on your response to this week’s challenge. I liked the phrases you wrote to convey tension eg ‘I just had to..’ and ‘.. or I am doomed’. I know that run on sentences can also be used to build tension, and give the impression of time racing by, but too many conjunctions in one sentence can be confusing for a reader. A good strategy is to read your writing aloud so you can hear where punctuation marks should go. I really hope that you and your family are safe from Blood Worm. 😁