Jack and the sucky sweets

Jack is a Muslin. He is fasting. “Jack! Come down for dinner,” his Grandma said. She  forgot he was fasting because she is 84. The next day, he went to the market. Jack smelt all the scrumptious, yummy food. Pink candy floss was his favourite but he couldn’t have any.

The day after that, he saw his friends eating revolving sucky sweets. They were sweets that if you licked they would make an illusion and turn. Jack was too hungry. He jumped into the air and landed like a piece of concrete right next to the sweets. He took one of them and ate it in one gulp!

One thought on “Jack and the sucky sweets”

  1. You did an amazing job but I feel like you did not add more detail because I did not understand why he could eat the sticky sweets like many at the beginning of the story you could say “He had just returned from the dentize from getting braces.” many you could add something like that. but you did a very good job.

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