Lilly the Wonder

One  day  I  went  to  the  tower  and  I  saw  three  men  and  they  were  messing  with   my  dad’s   cannon.  When  I  went  to  go  and  tell  my  dad,  there  were   three  bad  man  and  then  my  dad  told   his  guards  to  go  and  take  them  away   forever.   It  was  just  the  washers  and  they  were  just  washing  the  cannon  – silly  me! Then  there  was  trouble  my  dad  was  so  mad  at  me  and  then  I  was  grounded   for  ever.

2 thoughts on “Lilly the Wonder”

  1. Congratulations on your response to this week’s challenge. You wrote a quirky twist with the men messing with the cannons being the cannon washers – I loved that. But I thought being grounded forever was a bit extreme! Remember you don’t need to write ‘went to go’, went is enough for your reader to understand your text. When you have completed your text, read it aloud, or get a friend to read it, so you can edit for punctuation, for meaning, nd for overuse of a word eg ‘and’. Editing is an important step in the writing process. 😊

  2. Hi Lily May,
    We’ll done on your story this week. I can just imagine the character ‘telling’ her dad and all the were doing was working!! I bet it was exciting living in a tower!!
    Ms Brennock
    Team 100 w/ c
    Dublin

Comments are closed.