Maybe That Was A Bad Idea

Once a girl named Sarah was playing volleyball in a park. When she tried to get a point for her team, she hit the ball too hard and it smashed right into a window.  Sarah said, “Oops, but I didn’t mean to hit it that hard.” Then a man came out the house and shouted who has done this with his head as red as a tomato.  Sarah ran and hid in a bin. She smelt the air and all she could smell was rotten food. When Sarah heard the man was gone, she jumped out of the bin and ran straight to her house. As she got closer to her house, she saw the man again…

6 thoughts on “Maybe That Was A Bad Idea”

  1. Hi Casper, I really liked your story. I really liked how you used figurative language. Maybe one thing you could work on is your punctuation.
    From Harrison in Illinois.

  2. Hello Casper, I really liked your exciting similes. Especially when the man was as red as a tomato. To make this writing even better, I think you should use a thesaurus to use exciting adverbs and adjectives.

    1. Thank you for visiting my story and giving me some help full information I will include more adverbs and adjectives in my stories.

  3. Hi Casper! What a disaster! I have a friend that lives near a golf course and they often find golf balls in their backyard but they have never had a broken window. I really like how you described all the actions of the characters in the story, (the man from the house and Sarah). Well done.

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