The Flower of Life

One sunny evening, two children who were named Lucy (who was 10) and Chase (who was 11) were collecting pebbles. Suddenly they got extremely tired so they slept is a small rowing boat.  Which drifted away with the current… The next morning, they woke up with the sun beaming in their faces.  Lucy woke up startled. “CHASE CHASE CHASE WAKE UP!!!” Lucy screamed.
“What?” Chase said still waking up.
“We’re on an island in the middle of nowhere!”Lucy screamed angrily.  There in the sand, there was a sign that read”dig the flower out of the hole to unearth its powers”. So Lucy turned to Chase and said, “How are we meant to dig without any shovels?”
Chase replied, “I’ve got a idea!” so he turned around and started kicking the sand out of the way.  All of a sudden Lucy heard mum shout, “Lucy time for school!” And it turned out to be a horrible dream.

2 thoughts on “The Flower of Life”

  1. I enjoyed your story, although I was hoping for an ending without a dream. Dream endings can become a bit cliche. Your punctuation made it easy to read. I like the way you had different characters talking on new lines. It was a fun story. Well done.

    Philip Waller
    Auckland, New Zealand
    http://pwsroom14.blogspot.com/

  2. Brilliant story! You have used great punctuation throughout the story so it makes sense and is easy to follow. You have a great variety of time connectives, verbs, speech marks. The use of capitals letters when the character was shouting was very effective. Well done on a great piece of work!

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