Once I went on a holiday to a mansion. It took 3 hours to get there. When we got there, It was not so bad. It was the middle of the night and I heard a noise. I went down the stairs and I saw my mum. I asked if she heard it as well. She said, ‘Yes I heard it so I am looking for It okay I will help you find it.’ Then I saw something on the chandelier! After that, I heard It say something. I got it down and…
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Very interesting story! I like the way you integrated a dialogue to build the suspense. Well done!