The killer man

Today I went to jail to visit my dad.  As I was passing cells,  I saw a man in bed. I was confused because it was 2:25 in the afternoon. I was staring in his cell when I saw a body under the bed. I was freaking out so I went to get the police man but I could not find him.  When I returned, he was not there.  I rubbed my eyes and when I opened them, he was there staring at me. He deeply said, “What is your name?” I said, “Evie.” He replied saying how nice my name was Evilin.   I was so terrified because Evilin looked evil.I   started running and tripped over, but I got back up and walked home scared to death.

2 thoughts on “The killer man”

  1. Annie,
    I was so expecting your narrator to find themself awakened from the nightmare by the deep voice, but instead you continued the story in a reality of sorts. Quite frightful indeed.
    Keep writing.
    Mrs. G., Team 100, Guilderland, NY, USA

  2. great work Annie,
    I loved how you mentioned that you tried to find the police man but he wasn’t there and your title really fitted in with your story!!! how you told the story was great i worked really well because you could describe you’re emotions. maybe you could have said ran back home instead of walked just to make it a little more dramatic. overall though GREAT STORY!

    i look forward to hearing more of your stories next time, keep on writing, until next time,
    ~Annalie~

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