The Night

 Once there was a dark night, it was as black as coal. The sound was as quiet as a mouse. The bushes and trees were all swiftly being blown by the breezy wind. Today the view is really good at the hotel. Everybody loves staying here because the people are so nice.  Everybody likes  the beach, water slides,  pools and  all sorts of entertainment. The place is filled with sunshine and there is over 150 hotel rooms! We are here for 2 weeks like most of the people here. It took us 2 hours to get here, it is great being here so better make the most of the next 2 weeks.

3 thoughts on “The Night”

  1. Hi Jack,
    This sounds like a super place to come on holiday, does it remind you of somewhere you’ve been? I loved the way you used lots of great similes at the start to create an image in my mind. Always make sure your opening links to what happens next in your writing.
    Keep up the great work.
    Mrs Moore
    Team 100
    London

  2. Ah, holidays Aimee; a helpful reminder of something to look forward to in the future. I can see you’ve worked hard to spice up your story – the two similes in your opening sentences and the rich description of how the weather was affecting the surroundings. I wonder if you could build on that and think of an alternative, more powerful word instead of ‘nice’ to describe the people at the hotel?
    Well done and keep rising to the Challenge.

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