The weird walk

Today felt like a really weird day, I had to go for a walk with my mum and it was raining , I put on my yellow coat, grabbed my umbrella and set off to the shops,

On the way we could smell something really stinky, I turned to the left and saw a giant tall spikey rotting cactus and then on my right a massive stripey zebra! The Zebra was eating the grass that was dead.The cactus kept growing and growing and it was so smelly.

Me and my mum looked at each in disbelief and quickly walked into the shop.

5 thoughts on “The weird walk”

  1. woah this walk was indeed really bizarre, I really liked the unexpected events ! continue writing 🙂

  2. Hi Aimee
    I really love the way you used all 5 words for the 100WC. You have written in a believeable way and created a really interesting story. Next time, remember to use full stops instead of commas. It makes it easier for the reader.
    Mrs P (Team 100WC)
    Wellington,New Zealand

  3. Wow, fancy seeing a zebra and a rotting cactus on the way to the shops! I can understand why that would feel weird. I loved how you said that you and your mum looked at each other ‘in disbelief’, because I’m sure that’s exactly how it would have felt if it really happened.

    I’d suggest writing, ‘My mum and I’, rather that ‘Me and my mum’, but otherwise it was an entertaining and funny story. Well done!

    Michelle, Team 100wc,
    Melbourne, Australia

  4. Hi Aimee
    Are you sure you were awake as you wrote this? It’s so dream like with weird things happening but not at all weird in the way you have written it. I like the use of description words and the change from visual to olfactory. Like you and your mum I think I’d look in disbelief and walk away fast. Well done.

  5. Hello Aimee, cactus plants can be quite scary so I like how you have created this image. Your description was really detailed and I thought you used some great words. I also liked how you started your story, using the word “weird”, giving the reader a clue that something might happen. Well done.

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